Nicole vs. Life
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
