she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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