You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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