I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize