That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
