you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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