he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize