I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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