I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
