she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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