Will you blow on my dice?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
