Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
lol hangovers are for mortals.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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