This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
