he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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