guys are not supposed to queef...right?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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