its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
