So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
