Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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