weddingsv make me drug and hornr
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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