On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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