you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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