i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
