Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
