Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
