Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
