Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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