Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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