I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
