you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
