So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
