Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
