He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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