I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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