soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize