I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
