How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
