Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
