Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize