Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
