Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize