marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
