She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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