My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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