Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
