At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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