Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
