batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my vag is so smooth its legendary
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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