But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
