A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
