CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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