Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
