Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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