Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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