eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
