Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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