he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
