is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it was like eating out sand paper
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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