I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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