They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
