I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize