I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
