Jerry, you need to find god
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
