Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
