Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
