Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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