google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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